Sylvester Stallone intervistato a proposito della tragedia di Fukushima

la scorsa settimana abbiamo cercato per gioco il contatto facebook di Sylvester Stallone, alla ricerca di omonimi con i suoi stessi problemi di paresi facciale. Quel che non si aspettavamo era che la pagina che portava il suo volto fosse in effetti il vero facebook della star. Gli abbiamo chiesto amicizia e subito ha accettato. In effetti controllando la chat, risultava evidente che in quel momento Sly era in linea, e così abbiamo provato senza troppe pretese a raggiungerlo. Non credendo ai nostri occhi, Sly ci ha risposto subito. Ecco di seguito trascritta la breve conversazione con la star di hollywood…

Good morning, Mr. Stallone, how are you in california?
Sorry to bother you, we are of the dismal, are writing from Italy and we would ask them two things.

Ah yes! The unthinkable! I heard about you from the grip of my last film. I have talked to your crazy performances, no sense of your writings, the column of the sluts, one thing to die laughing … Tell me, please, tell me about!

Mr. Stallone, so we feel embarrassed, please, do not stand on ceremony, do not deserve them, we are just a group of friends who meet every so often under the table, along with smaller but historically this to us all: Danilo 7 years old…
But … well, since she is so available we take advantage: it has some new short-term project?

Yes, thank you for your question … In fact they are full of plans, new movies, new steroids and new yet unknown to human muscles. Unfortunately I can not see them to you, but I managed with a syringe directly into the skull to transform the cerebral cortex in a muscle massaging the frontal lobe of the brain.
Let me see: a single second of patience … oooooh …

-A questo punto siamo rimasti interdetti, poiché la chat di facebook non prevede videoconferenza, e dalla tastiera di Sly per una trentina di secondi sono uscite lettere a caso che qui vi riportiamo:

pibicbu∫ø∆∫œœ¨hdovimeopo˜˜ œ∆∫hbvionwprnv piu iuboibioumwijnxjnaiuefgh aj nfoihp9 7ty203ryp2gfc973b63v0 3k4pjty8 0™≠¡÷˜ ™∞÷π`ƒ∫¡‘9unhgoriugnyn0 7`π´÷æ®≠‘∫t ‘7n0

Poi si è misteriosamente ripreso.

In short, what I was saying, there is great turmoil in Hollywood. We are planning a fifth Rambo chapter, where my character will fly to Japan to liberate the survivors suffering from the apocalypse on earth they have suffered. A real humanitarian mission for the first time in the history of Rambo.

Um, awesome Mr. Stallone. But in this respect, how do you manage the set? Surely you will not turn those scenes in Japan think … to reconstruct the set of the tsunami in a Hollywood studio or maybe ….

Shut up you idiot! Do not you know that Hollywood is picking up the film‘s real strength? No stunt doubles, no set of plastic, much less 3D. We will fly to Japan, where I am going to parachute to reach the edge of the evacuation area around the central Fukushima, followed by a crew of cameramen Puerto Rican, I will follow my step by step in humanitarian action. We will begin releasing children from suffering, which I already have the tentacles, then switch to the old, who have learned to fly with the body as well as with imagination. Then there will be a fight with Musashi Miyamoto: reliable rumors say he is resurrected by isotope infiltrates into the soil of his <span
class=”hps” title=”Fai clic per visualizzare le traduzioni alternative”>burial … That will be the highlight of the first scene of the film: musashi, inter alia, will have a skeleton made of swords, cleaving his dead flesh to his every move. It will not be easy to kill, even if I have the flamethrower …

Ok ok … I understand that Mr. Stallone‘s new Rambo will be full of strong content, including references to the historical memory … but she is not afraid of radiation? I imagine that he will fight all the time with a radiation protection suit!

Insane! In your opinion, then my audience would like to recognize? It ‘clear that I do not fear the radiation, I do not do anything: Here in America I have witnessed in the remotest corners of the desert of twelve hundred kansas explosion of bombs from four to ten megatons. Controlled explosions, yes, but I have seen with my own eyes, I felt the wind on my skin shock wave, I was caressed by the ash fallout, I have disgraced one hundred prototypes of the iPhone because of the jump due to electromagnetic ‘explosion. Ancra E are here to talk to a madman like you. Look, I‘ll get to the reactor 2 in the film‘s central Fukushima, kill the technicians who will now become like Godzilla, and I will skip all this by closing the air for good combustion. Better a nuclear bomb today that a fire for eternity. Then God will come to catch up on his helicopter celestial, and decontaminated through the clouds come …

Mr Stallone? Mr Stallone? Ma era inutile: vedevo il segnale “Stallone è offline” grigio e chiaro sulla finestra chat di facebook… Stallone evidentemente era stato richiamato da qualche lavoro urgente. Ho provato a ricontattarlo nei giorni seguenti, ma senza successo. E’ stato bello comunque incontrarlo e ricevere per primi queste indiscrezioni sul suo nuovo lavoro, che promette di essere decisamente….radioattivo. Speriamo di riucire a vederlo nei cinema prima della fine del mondo, anche se ho dei sospetti fondati che possa iniziare proprio dalla scena finale del film, l’apocalisse definitiva. Quanto a Stallone, non l’ho più trovato tra gli amici di facebook, probabilmente mi ha cancellato. A vedere bene la sua foto però si fa fatica a credere che sia passato immune dalle 1000 esplosioni di test nucleare effettuate dal governo degli stati uniti in kansas…

Auguriamo a Stallone un buon lavoro e a voi tutti lettori di fare sogni tranquilli, cullati dagli isotopi di una bella notte nucleare.